I Am Getting a Divorce Now - Does Scripture Teach That I Can't Re-Marry?
The first scripture I want to share with you says:
Romans 7:2-3 (New King James Version)
2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.
This was a scripture written by the Apostle Paul. It is pretty clear in its meaning. It means if a lady marries a man, its till death do they make a covenant. She may divorce him before he dies, but she is to remain single while her husband is alive. If she re-marries she is called and adulteress.
Now I don't know the argument the popular teachers have for this scripture. But most of us said to death do us part, in sickness and in health and so on in our wedding vows. On one hand before a priest we swear a vow before our love to death do we part and now things have gone rails up and we are getting divorced and saying that we want to death do us part taken out of the agreement.
Paul says, "No my friend it stays."
Now I don't know which party you are reading this. I don't know if you are the one that was all for the separation and divorce or you are the partner that's still crying because your partner has left and wants to divorce you and you are reading up on the subject.
I was the partner in tears for years that my wife left me. I was a broken man when she left and while she was with me I was a co-dependent husband. I wasn't in a good state when I was married and I simply can't blame my wife for leaving as my mental illness started to appear in my life.
When someone leaves you, you think well if I can get happy again and make another go, perhaps I might make a better go at wife number two. That was how I felt. I even got engaged at one point and my fiancé told me that Jesus told her that she was not to marry me. This message I have no doubt came from Jesus and we parted in tears, both loving each other but knowing we couldn't be.
Let's look at another verse.
Mark 10:11-12 (New King James Version)
11 So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
This is pretty clear here and is said twice so we don't miss understand.
1. If a male divorces his wife he can't re- marry.
2. If a female divorces her husband she can't re- marry.
Now there are a number of scriptures in this debate. I am not going to quote the one in Matthew that says divorce is allowed. This verse is pretty clear. If you divorce your partner and re-marry you are committing adultery. Both the person leaving another person and the person who has been left cannot re- marry.
Both of them.
There is only one marriage in the kingdom of God.
Now what of all those people who have re- married without reading this article?
They are in adultery.
Millions of them.
Now that does not mean the Lord God can't forgive them for their error, but we aren't talking about them, we are talking about you.
You have not re- married yet and so you haven't committed adultery. So you still have a chance. This is very sobering news for some. In fact not many can bear it. In my experience to divorced people I have met and shared these scriptures with I have to say not one of them have accepted this as truth. I don't expect many of you will either.
I am writing this for the person who is willing to seek the Lord for truth. I am appealing to the broken hearted people of the world to look to what Jesus and Paul said.
I am not bringing a fancy argument here. I am not even overjoyed bringing this teaching but I know that I have to write it as I have read my last article and the tone was not right.
God says in Malachi that he hates divorce. In scripture Jesus says that only on grounds of adultery can we divorce and most divorces being done these days are not on those grounds. Under God's law people who divorce for any other reason than adultery haven't really got a divorce off God and therefore are still married to their first partner when they re- marry.
Jesus warned the teachers will come under a stricter judgement. There are so many pastors not only agreeing to divorce but marrying people who have been divorced without even knowing the grounds for the first divorce.
It's a sad thing guys.
How can I cope being single for the rest of my life.
I struggled with this for a while until I came to realise that the scripture is true. I first came to this teaching of the scripture when reading my Bible one night and I read the passage in Matthew and the Holy Spirit said to me that I couldn't re- marry.
In was without a doubt the Holy Spirit.
Having a faith which allows me to talk to Jesus, I asked Jesus is this true?
"Yes Matthew, you cannot re-marry Jesus said to me."
I was devastated. I was only 35 years old and was still young enough to date. In fact since I have come to the truth of this teaching and accepted being single for the rest of my life, four ladies that have come to know me have proposed to me. Three over the Internet and one in person.
Each of the four tried to show me that I was wrong. One was quite insistent sending me a teaching with the opposite view to mine and making me promise her I will read it. I read it and wasn't convinced I was wrong.
How can you argue when the Holy Spirit and Jesus has told you something? And scripture supports what they have said to you.
It's hard to come to grips with being single for the rest of your life. It will take you real courage to seek the Lord for confirmation of this teaching. But I structured the headline so that you would be reading. It was you that I wanted to speak to.
Not with harsh condemning words to make you feel bad or guilty for you impending divorce. But to show you a possible future that you might not have considered before today.
Now some people after one marriage break-up decide that they will never marry again. This is okay for them, but this article isn't for them and many of them wouldn't even be reading it.
This is for you.
Let me ask you a question?
How many times do you think we have cheated on God by serving the lusts of our flesh? How many times have we been adulterers to God. But He doesn't divorce us, he loves us and forgives us. Many of us have broken half of the ten commandments but still we feel God's presence in worship at church. Yet still he has not given us a certificate of divorce.
Why does a partner who has cheated need to be divorced? Surely they can see a counsellor? Surely they can be forgiven.
I tell you folks divorce is very destructive. If you have a chance, repair your marriage. God wants to heal the broken hearted and restore the sick to being well and open the blind eyes. He never wishes for divorce.
People really under estimate the healing power of God. If you are the one that has left with all of my heart I am appealing to you, pray and seek the Lord for your marriage to work and go through the hard work to make it work.
If you are the one that has been left take consolation in the fact that Jesus knows what it is like to have those closest to him desert him when things got tough. But Jesus didn't leave his apostles. He came back and gave them another 40 days of pep up talks. So you partner has left you, take the opportunity to draw closer to Jesus Christ.
I now have some wonderful Christian women that are friends. I have two that are very dear to me on the Internet and about five that go to my church. Three of the ones at church are married women whose partners approve of me and two are lovely single women who God has blessed me with. I am overjoyed at the hugs I get every week when I go to church and the really meaningful strokes on the back when I have been weeping.
It's not easy as a male to conquer lust. But you can conquer it as I have done it in my life. The blood of Jesus makes nothing impossible.
I pray that you might at least do some research into other writers that side with my rendering of the scriptures. I pray that you will find peace in your heart to stay single and find forgiveness for your former partner.
God bless you
If you have enjoyed my article you can read the book "The parables of Jesus made simple" for free here in its entirety or just selected parables in chapters at http://www.parables-of-jesus-christ.net/ The book will be published in book form in January 2011
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