Waking Up – a Drunk Driving Story

"Hey...Buddy hey you awake?" a voice in the darkness echoes around you. Facets of light begin to drift through your field of vision in a kaleidoscopic rush as your brain begins to realise it should be telling you to wake up. Your eyes focus on the blur in front of you before closing in agony from the onset of light ripping your retinas to shreds, like paper caught in a hurricane.

"Wha..." you manage to murmur.

"That was one hell of a crash buddy!" the (darkness?) exclaims. You finally discern the shape to be that of a portly man as your nerves snap back into place. You think back to what just happened but can't quite remember yet. "What happened?" you ask. "Well buddy the less said the better..." You try to raise your voice to ask again but it comes out in a croak. You try to raise your arm but it feels leaden. Your muscles seemed to have had an argument with your nerves and now they refuse to work together, all you feel is pain but no movement.

You remember...a bar.

Alcohol is a clever guy. If he was a person in your local town he'd be the carnival guy offering "easily won grand prizes". What he fails to tell you is that the game is rigged and you're going to lose out no-matter how many times you try. Alcohol tells you you're happy and cheerful, it lets your head swim in beautiful bliss and tells the central nerves to take a break, 10 minutes won't do anyone harm! Unfortunately like a charismatic burglar only 10 minutes of ignorance is enough to take advantage. Before you know it your eyes blur and your co-ordination is weaker than three blind mice at a cat convention.

Suddenly it all comes back in a flash. The music blaring, the giddy feeling in your stomach. You'd only had some vodka and a few shots of tequila, of course you were fine. Up you stepped to the carnival game. You jumped in the car, keyed the ignition and off you flew for home. Well it felt like you were doing fine, hell you were only doing, what, well you can't remember how fast but you're sure you were careful. You throw the ball straight and true at the target. You remember the sour taste in your mouth and remembered how you needed to throw up. With a bright flash of an idea that would put Baldrick's cunning plans to shame, you rolled the window down and only stuck your head out for a second before the world went black. How could you have lost, the game was so simple!

Turns out you hit a hedge at 110mph. Your car flipped six times before landing. You fractured some bones and have irreparable spinal damage. Drinking under the influence made you felt like a god before tossing you down on the ground and making you realise just how much alcohol cares about you.

Well done surviving what most don't but ask yourself: do you feel lucky, well, do you "buddy"?

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