Helping Your Child Cope with Divorce

One of the things that make divorce for some couples harder than it already is are the children or the child that is caught in between. They are the hardest hit by the separation and are suffering as much, if not more than the splitting couple are. Some carry the confusion and the blame as they grow up so it is important that they are made to understand what is going on around them especially those not old enough to comprehend.

There are several ways by which you can help your child cope with divorce. It is important that you and your ex-husband or wife make things easier for the child or children, after all even if you are no longer together, both of you are still their parents. Each couple's divorce situation might be different but whether the split is amicable of not, both should try their best to meet these tips in order to make it easier for the child.

First of all, tell the child/children the truth. Do not lie to them or give them false hope as they are bound to find out sooner or later. It is also easier for children to cope when they are made to understand the situation as early as possible. If the child or children asks you what's wrong, tell them the truth in the nicest way possible. Explain that you and your ex-spouse won't be living in the same house any more but assure them that the both of you still love them and that it is not their fault. For small children, picture books about divorce may be able to help them understand the situation better. One example is a book called "It's Not Your Fault Koko Bear"by Vicky Lansky, "Two Homes" by Kady MacDonald Denton or "My Family is Changing" by Pat Thomas. It is also helpful to tell the children that divorce doesn't only happen to your family but to other families as well and that they are not alone in this.

After explaining the situation, ask them how they feel and let them express it fully. Assure them that it's okay to feel sad about the situation. In some cases children will express anger. Be sure to remain as calm as possible and just let them feel that emotion. In any way or form, try to reach out and let them know that you care and love them always.

If needed, go with the children to a counsellor so that the matter can be handled professionally. These options are usually available with Collaborative Divorce.Divorce will always be hard for children so make it easier for them before it is too late.