Need To Know How To Go About Getting A Divorce?
By: Lil Lyon | Posted: 27th June 2011
The main part of getting a divorce is understanding the mental and emotional impact on each member of the family. Search your heart and mind for the effects of the family breakup on the kids, you, and your ex. Then, write it down to clarify, revert back to, and to begin your preparation for your legally-binding custody agreement. When a petitioner for divorce has the psychological impact of their divorce internalized, then they are beginning the process correctly and can move forward toward the best written custody agreement possible.
When negotiating for your wish list for the best agreement for child custody, realize that experts agree that the number of hours spent with your children is inconsequential. What is important to your children's postdivorce adjustment is the quality of those hours spent together with each of their parents. Kids do not care what is written in the divorce decree on paper. What they care about is staying connected to and loved by both parents after their nuclear family breaks up.
After parents split, their children need the most important adults in their lives to cooperate with each other. The kids also need to know their parents support them emotionally. Self-esteem and self-confidence spikes off the charts when kids know their parents have their backs. Grades go up and achievement soars. The kids will feel competent and strong. Never undermine this sense of self in your kids.
If parents are capable of putting their own issues aside for the sake of their children, whatever setup the family ends up with after mediation in divorce will work. Your kids need you to put them first. Vent your emotions in the closet when you are home alone. Do not talk smack about your ex in front of your children. Always act friendly and welcoming in front of other adults when your ex comes to pick the children up for visitation whether child support payments are current or not.
Evaluate any and all points of negotiation with your ex from the standpoint of the needs of your children. That way any custody arrangement you both can think of will be successful. Everyone affected by the divorce will be much happier, stable, and able to recover emotionally sooner. The sense of loss of dreams and assets from the dysfunctional marriage will be alleviated primarily by a smooth emotional transition.
Judges really like it when two adults can appear in their family court prepared by having any conflict of resolution to their problems worked out, willing to share the kids, willing to compromise with each other, and in control emotionally. This is how to go about getting a divorce successfully. Success is determined by the happiness of all parties with the custody agreement and with the divorce decree. Make it a win-win situation for all (mom, dad, and the children).
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Lil Lyon is passionate about kids having the best chance at life. She started:
http://www.forchildcustody.com
to help parents deal with the tragedy of divorce. Casualties in divorce include kids and Lil helps parents win the best child custody plan for the sake of their kids. Begin your custody plan now, choose the best lawyer, and more!
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Tags: spikes, standpoint, psychological impact, child support payments, petitioner, soars, member of the family, self confidence, child custody, getting a divorce, emotional impact, mediation, sense of self, heart and mind, divorce decree, nuclear family