The Benefits of Using a Divorce Coach
By: Nancy Lewis | Posted: 07th October 2009
Divorce can be an agonizing experience. Despite the fact that almost one-half of all marriages end in divorce, few newly married couples expect to find themselves facing the maze of custody and property battles that can accompany the emotional pain of a marriage dissolution.
Collaborative divorce is a relatively new model that seeks to replace the lasting animosity and bitterness that can occur during a divorce with a more mature, reasoned approach. Collaborative divorce usually involves not only the divorcing couple and their attorneys, but also two licensed mental health specialists known as divorce coaches, a neutral financial specialist and, if needed, a neutral specialist focused on the welfare of any children.
A divorce coach is not a therapist. This type of coaching has a very specific focus - to help you understand your options and the emotions connected with the process of divorce. Coaches help clients avoid rash decisions that may further degrade the relationship with the former spouse and focus on the steps needed to prepare for life after divorce.
Collaborative divorce is not easy. It takes a significant amount of restraint and maturity from both parties to work through these issues without verbally lashing out - whether to the other party or to children. It helps to have a compassionate listener so you can discuss feelings of guilt, betrayal, confusion and hurt. After processing some of the pain, you can approach decision making with a clearer head.
This is particularly helpful when formerly married parents must find a way to co-parent their children. No parent enters divorce proceedings wanting to harm their children. Unfortunately, parents who air grievances about the other party -- or who simply don't know how to communicate what is happening -- may unwittingly cause damage. A divorce coach will know how to help parents help their children through the process.
Some divorcing couples worry about the expense involved in retaining divorce coaches. Ironically, many couples find that it can actually be a cost-saving measure. Divorcing parties invariably need someone to talk with, and without the formal channel of a coaching relationship each party's divorce attorney often fills that role. As a result, billable hours tied to the divorce escalate and so do expenses.
In conclusion, it is critical to understand that when you involve a divorce coach is vital to the success of the decision. Some couples attempt to navigate the divorce process on their own and then decide to engage with coaches after the initial shock and anger has ripened to bitterness and nearly irreconcilable feuding. As a result, coaches must spend significantly more time uncoiling all of the issues that have arisen, and the process to make wise decisions and move toward a productive future becomes that much more difficult to manage.
In conclusion, it is critical to understand that when you involve a divorce coach is vital to the success of the decision. Some couples attempt to navigate the divorce process on their own and then decide to engage with coaches after the initial shock and anger has ripened to bitterness and nearly irreconcilable feuding. As a result, coaches must spend significantly more time uncoiling all of the issues that have arisen, and the process to make wise decisions and move toward a productive future becomes that much more difficult to manage. Divorce coaches are most effective if involved early in the process, this way they can help you steer away from decisions that you may later regret. About the Author
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Tags: new model, maturity, married couples, maze, listener, bitterness, betrayal, emotional pain, feelings of guilt, divorce proceedings, animosity, grievances, rash decisions, collaborative divorce